Coping with being in hospital

Information for young people

Introduction

This is designed for young people who are staying in hospital. It covers some of the common difficulties that people experience and looks at strategies for coping.

How people can feel when they stay in hospital

Many people feel sad, low or down in the dumps at times, particularly if they have been in hospital a long time or have had lots of health problems to deal with.

When you are in hospital, the way you are feeling is often strongly linked to your physical symptoms. The treatments can make you feel sick, tired and in pain. They can also make you feel sad and low. People often feel worried about having new treatments and can feel anxious about how their body is going to react to it.

Things that often make people who are in hospital feel fed up are:

• Not seeing friends.
• Being in hospital for a long time.
• Not being able to do all the things that you normally enjoy.
• Not being able to get to school/college.
• Having lots of side effects like pain or feeling sick.

Feeling sad or low

It is quite normal to feel sad or low at times, particularly when you are having a bad day. When you are feeling sad it is okay to cry; crying is an important way of releasing emotion.

When you are feeling sad or low it can sometimes seem as though nothing can change and that you will never feel any better. Sometimes these feelings can go on day after day. If things get worse, people can start feeling depressed. It is important that you talk to someone if you think you are feeling depressed.

Not feeling in control

Sometimes when you are staying in hospital you might feel like you have very little control over what is happening. 

Some people do not mind not being in control and are happy to let the doctors and nurses “get on with it”. Other people can feel angry and annoyed or fed up. You may feel a mixture of these at different times. All of these feelings are normal responses to the situation you are in.

The low mood – inactivity trap

“I feel so fed up, I just can’t be bothered doing anything, and time just really drags.”

“I’m so tired and can’t get interested in anything.  I can’t be bothered getting out of bed, never mind doing anything else.”

Low moods can drain you of energy. You can lose interest in things you normally enjoy and feel like you just can’t be bothered doing anything.  When you don’t do anything, you just end up feeling even worse, and you have more time to think about how bad things seem.  This is known as the low mood – inactivity trap.

How can I help myself?

There are things you can do to make a difference to how you are feeling. This guide is designed to help you to develop some useful ways of coping for when you are feeling low and fed up. Remember, there are lots of people to help and support you, like your family, friends and staff at the hospital.

Having a plan for the day

When people are feeling down they often can’t be bothered doing anything and then end up doing very little. This can make it feel like time is dragging by really slowly and that you haven’t achieved anything all day. Boredom is a big factor that contributes to people feeling fed up, sad or feeling low.

One way to help yourself is to make a list of things you think you could do. Be realistic and set yourself goals that you could achieve. Obviously what you can do will often depend on how you are feeling each day and what treatments you may be having.

Things that other people have found helpful are:

• Watching a funny DVD.
• Having a shower or bath.
• If you can, go to the sitting room/playroom, medicinema, or have a walk around outside.
• If you have to stay in a cubicle, can you move things around to make it look different? Check with a nurse first though.
• Do some puzzles, crosswords or Sudoku.
• Read a book, listen to an audiobook or get someone to read to you.
• Talk to a friend on the phone.
• Write down how you are feeling.

Write your list of activities on a piece of paper.

Now try and plan things for the next few days:

Be proud and recognise your achievements

Try and remember your achievements.

People in hospital or who are ill often don’t think about their achievements, such as managing to get out of bed and get dressed, because they think that they are “nothing, because everyone should be able to do that”. When you are unwell normal everyday things can be much more difficult. You deserve to be proud and recognise how well you have done if you manage to meet any goal that you have set yourself.

Say positive things to yourself when you have managed to do something on your list (you can say them in your head – you don’t need to talk to yourself out loud).

It sometime helps to write down, or get someone else to write down, what you have done each day so that you know what you have managed to achieve.

Understand how you are feeling and talk to someone

Talking to people about how you are feeling is really important. When people do not share their feelings and keep things all bottled up inside little things that bother or worry us can get bigger and bigger and can feel overwhelming. Often people worry about some aspect of their illness or treatment, or feel that they are not sure what is going on.

There are lots of people here to support you.  Sometimes people keep things to themselves because they don’t want to worry other people.  Sometimes people feel protective towards their parents or carers.  Think about who you could talk to, perhaps a friend, relative or a member of staff.

Summary

• Staying in hospital can be hard.
• You might feel bored, sad, low or like you are not in control of what is happening.
• There are things you can do to help yourself:
  • Plan fun activities.
  • Be proud of your achievements.
  • Talk to other people about how you are feeling.

This has been produced by the Department of Psychology in Healthcare. Clinical Psychologists are based at the RVI and Freeman Hospitals. If you have any further concerns about the issues discussed, please discuss these with your GP or medical team. Alternatively you can contact the Department of Psychology in Healthcare on 0191 282 4081